Yogi

Speaking of sports quotes, here's some from the master, Yogi Berra (with comments):

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."
(It ain't even even worth a nickel.)

"Even Napoleon had his Watergate."
(But at least he didn't to cover it up.)

"Half the lies they tell about me aren't true."
(That means you're batting .500.)

"He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."
(Uh, that would be "ambivalent.")

"I always thought that record would stand until it was broken."
(I never expected someone to come along to prove me right.)

"I never said most of the things I said."
(But I said a few things I didn't say, so it's a wash.)

"In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is."
(Practice makes perfect — in theory.)

"The future ain't what it used to be."
(Wonder what the past will be like.)