Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Beyond repair

If any blog readers are left, I can only assume you didn't attempt an answer because you are wise to my ways and knew the last post was a trick question. None of the four is written correctly. Incidentally, all the examples came from actual examples of copy submitted to my former newspaper or written by one of our reporters, with only the names changed.

The topic is parallel construction. When you include a list of objects after a verb, they must all fit the verb. Break the first one apart to see what I mean:

1. The festival will include craft booths, concessions and children can enjoy pony rides while parents shop.
The festival will include craft booths.
The festival will include concessions.
The festival will include and children can enjoy pony rides ... (see what I mean?)
The corrected sentence should read:
The festival will include craft booths, concessions and ponies for children to enjoy while their parents shop.

Sentence 2:
Incorrect: Officers include Claire Weston, president; Bobbie Hogwarts, vice president; Lucy Lickovich, secretary and Ben Gunn will serve as sergeant at arms.
Correct: Officer include Claire Weston, president; Bobbie Hogwarts, vice president; Lucy Lickovich, secretary; and Ben Gunn, sergeant at arms.
(Note: The word "include" should be used only with an incomplete list. If this is a complete list of officers the word "include" should be replaced with "are.")

Sentence 3:
Incorrect: The committee's goals include improving delivery of services, recruiting volunteers, consuming more pork dinners and repair the outside of the the building where Rufus Goforth drove his truck through the wall.
Correct: The committee's goals include ... repairing the outside ...

Sentence 4:
Incorrect: Pageant contestants will be judged on their poise, beauty and they will give an on-stage answer and their evening gown and the swimsuit competition will be judged privately.
Correct: Forget it. This sentence is hopeless. The pageant director who submitted it was charged, tried and convicted of languacide.

New Quiz
Which is correct?
1. "I feel bad" or "I feel badly"
2. "Eat a healthy diet" or "Eat a healthful diet"
3. "I can't help but notice" or "I can't help noticing"
4. "In behalf" or "On behalf"

Come on, don't be a chicken. Venture a guess.

2 comments:

Roy Askins said...

I'll give it a whirl:

1) Feel bad vs feel badly
In common usage, they are interchangeable. In writing, however, feel bad is typically used in reference to physical ailments while feel badly is used in reference to emotional distress.

2) Healthy vs healthful
Both are correct. Some maintain a distinction between them, stating that healthy is a state and healthful as something that promotes healthy living. In truth, healthy has been used to mean healthful throughout the history of the english language.

3) help noticing vs help but notice
I'm not really sure on this one, but I'm inclined to go with help noticing merely because it is less wordy. My general dictum for writing is this: less is more.

4) In behalf of or on behalf of
The same with the first two; both are correct in their appropriate contexts. In behalf of refers to work done for someone(thing) else where as on behalf of refers to an agent of someone(thing) else.

How did I do?

(I'll be honest, I used Bartleby.com modern usage guide. I was unaware the phrases had multiple usages.)

Anonymous said...

I agree with raskinator.

Gabe's bobo