Answers to product descriptions quiz (all from the same catalog):

1. Knit dress
2. Cardigan sweater
3. Sleeveless cotton dress
4. Painted shell necklace
5. Cotton jacket (yeah, who doesn't think of a "Hawaiian lei without the heady perfume" when they slip into a jacket? Sort of like those tube socks remind you of a felt Stetson without the sweat stains.)

That's the annoying thing. If you are actually using the catalog to make purchases you get precious little information about the products because someone somewhere convinced the company brass that all that flowery language helps sell clothing.
What do you think? Does it? It makes me pitch the catalog in the trash.

Speaking of ad copy, I learned in 17 years of running newspapers that sometimes you run with copy you don't think will help sell the products because the owner or ad buyer insists. If the picky real estate company insists the house has a "breathtaking fireplace," that's what you put in the ad. (Even if it were spelled correctly, can a fireplace really be "breathtaking"? The Rocky Mountains are breathtaking. Or a sunset over the ocean. A beautiful woman. But a fireplace? What, does it suck all the air out of the room?) Real estate catalogs are an endless source of creative new ways to butcher English.

A radio ad for an identity theft prevention program states, "It protects you from identity theft BEFORE it happens." Yes, it is always a challenge to prevent something AFTER it happens.

The football official throws the flag for "False start, on the offense, before the play."
As opposed to a false start on the defense after the play?

What's the most annoying use of English you've heard lately?